this is a paper that I had to write for class but it was so interesting that I thought I would make it a note and get your opinions? Let me know!What does true love consist of? Have most of us every really sat down and seriously thought about that? Is it the point of being selfless? Or is it giving honesty and everything you have? How do we get this love or is it ever-real love at all? Robert J. Sternberg developed a triangular theory that might answer some of these questions. He believes that real balanced love is like a triangle. With intimacy and passion at the to and commitment on the bottom he believes that this is real consummate love. Consummate love is that balance of all three of the principles of the triangle. Though the real question is how you get these 3 components and how do you make them last from day one until old age?Well to answer that question we must first take a deeper look into these 3 components. The first is intimacy, and what do we think about when we see intimacy most of us see sex but not all intimacy is sex I also believe that it is a friendship based that you trust this person to tell them things and to also let them love on you with that friendship. Becoming intimate with that person or becoming one is a deep and very special event between these two. With passion it is something totally different it is the attraction that you have toward them but its deeper its also the love for them. With commitment it is on the bottom for a reason it is the base it is what you build your relationship upon. Without commitment in my personal opinion passion and intimacy are non-existent in the relationship. Now two people get together in a relationship with this consummate love this deep equal love but how does it start. Something I feel that you need in the beginning of the relationship is attraction and honesty. You don’t want someone who your not attracted to and also how can you build to commitment with no honesty? So then you can begin to build because intimacy is not only physically but it starts off with their friendship and has a level trust with the other person. So in the beginning of the relationship they should have been friends and at least had the chance to date and build that bond. You see because later that deep friendship will build into the intimacy that have for one another along with respect for them as well. When it comes to passion in this young relationship it’s the starting of the attraction that they have for one another. How does all of this form a triangle you ask? As said before it is a triangle and to form the true love that you are looking for in the other person you need to add one more thing and that is time. It is often said that you can tell if two people are really in love if they stand the test of time, because honestly the whole triangle thing is good but in the beginning of the relationship they are in the baby stages of the triangle and all three components are premature and need time to grow. Also with time you have a lot of time to learn how to love that other person right and if you love them and you want to make it work you will try. So with a more mature couple they know how to function in these principles that seem to be basic but they are really complex. So with their friendship that starts off with the relationship that turns into the intimacy they have for one another. Now they can be open and honest with one another. With passion in my opinion it never dies if you loved them when you married them in 20 years later you should still have the love and passion that you had for them then if it is real love and passion.Lastly with commitment is something that really does take along time. When you are fresh in a relationship you are still feeling them out but to grow into commitment that takes you giving a piece of you away that is your heart. When you get married and make that commitment that means that through all things that you will stand by them. The reason why the older couple will be better with this is because they have along time to work out all of the problems that comes with giving your heart away. I mean to be honest we all want to give our hearts away but we always want them to know what to do with our hearts. So to end with this triangle I believe that it is very true and also there are some things he is missing but to make it basic I think that it is a good basic concept. To give people the real meaning of what it takes to love and that you can’t leave any parts out. So without one part it really isn’t the real love that people are looking for. You see the concept always sounds good but in my personal opinion most people don’t want to work for the love that comes behind all three concepts because in the end love is what you are trying to accomplish. So to remember that loves takes all you have, time and most of all that commitment of giving yourself away and with old or young couples its something they are defiantly going to have to learn with time.
